If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
