There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
