It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
