So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
