What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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