When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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