i would punch a child for taco bell
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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