You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
