the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Soap is not a condiment
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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