I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
