Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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