Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
