He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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