apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
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