we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Just cropdusted the office
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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