So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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