I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
