I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
