Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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