I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
