i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
