shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
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