Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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