she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
