You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize