Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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