In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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