Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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