My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
