Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
