its not stalking. its research.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Randomize
