Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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