At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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