If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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