He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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