i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
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