Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
