You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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