yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
