ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
You left your phone here
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