We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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