this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I need water and some morals
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
