I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
