Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
