i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
