We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
How external is "for external use only"?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Randomize
