Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
