why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
