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• (513): View more from Ohio

  did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  This kid is drunk.

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance

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• (212): View more from New York

  Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.

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• (979): View more from Texas

  The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.

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• (562): View more from California

  I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.

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