I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize
