Well douche your snatch and let's go!
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
