Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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