Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
