the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
