Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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