i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
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