I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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