i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
