I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
