Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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