last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
