3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I need to align my fucking chakras
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